Align the spine to kill the reflux?

If acid reflux was embodied in a person, that person would be an asshole. A relentless and sadistic asshole who openly terrorizes babies... cute little babies turned into red-faced crying machines.

Buddhababy has battled reflux on and off since he was a month old. At one month, our pediatrician noticed that his colicky behavior appeared to be because of reflux so I changed my diet and we made sure he slept at an incline all the time. This helped enough for it to be manageable and for us to avoid medication.

As I have previously written about, Buddhababy has since outgrown his sleeper and we had to find a new place for him to catch his baby zzz's. He is currently sleeping mostly in a co-sleeper and sometimes with us. That is only important information because it means that he sleeps flat and since he started sleeping flat his reflux came back with such a vengeance that we were all on a downward spiral of exhaustion. I think that Buddhababy literally had 2 straight weeks of fuss. At first we just thought it was regular baby fussiness and that it would pass, but it didn't. It just kept getting worse and was really starting to scare us. Watching a baby suffer from reflux is scary and can make even a calm parent think there is something neurologically wrong. Realizing that the arching back and horrible noises are due to reflux is relieving on one hand but then its time to figure out what to do. I knew that Buddhababy's 4 month check-up was coming soon and if we went in there like that the ped was going to start talking meds. This is not the route I am interested in, if I can help it. So we said enough is enough... we are going to the chiropractor!

It is funny how the anticipation of the pediatrician can lunge me into action. Yes I admit it, I only go to the pediatrician because I want to be "responsible" and make sure we are meeting all the appropriate milestones. Other than that, I am not interested.

Buddhababy's first adjustment went great (this was actually his second adjustment- he was adjusted once about 6 weeks after birth), he was happy and aside from not being super excited about his neck adjustment, he was very receptive to the doc. I didn't want to expect too much from his first visit because I know that resetting the body can be a process but the change was pretty obvious. The first night after his adjustment was a little calmer but by the third night he slept for six straight hours- this is HUGE! After he was adjusted he almost instantly became more vocal and within a day he began rolling from back to front, which he hadn't done before.

So it has been a week, 3 adjustments later and its like Buddhababy has a whole new disposition. Don't get me wrong, he still cries and gets fussy and well acts like a baby BUT that happy baby that I knew was in there is coming out more and more. He is on the move, he knows he can roll and he is ready to rock and... he sleeps, oh man he sleeps and sometimes he even takes naps! He laughs up a storm and he looks around constantly taking in his environment while telling you all about it. It is hilarious! He has always had such an emotive disposition but now he has more mobility to go with it and he clearly loves it. Not to mention it is like he actually has a neck now (which he is so excited to move around and stretch).

I have known since before Buddhababy was born that chiropractic care would be important for him but I just got so wrapped up in the day to day of raising an infant that I let it fall to the wayside. This was a mistake and I feel that had we started earlier he would not have suffered with reflux as long as he did. But, that is the past and I am over it. I am not saying I think that there is one be-all answer to wellness... this just happens to be one aspect of our wellness that I will not overlook anymore.

I have definitely had a few people question my decision to bring our baby to a chiropractor (as you may be) and I get it. As a whole, our society views chiropractors (and TCM practitioners) as "pain managers." This is incorrect and in fact on my end when people ask me about pain management using needles I often steer them towards things like gua sha, but I digress. I also can see people envisioning the doctor "cracking" our little one's neck and back in extreme ways... this is also incorrect. It is very gentle and you would have no idea what was being done were you not told. But, I think it is important to remember that just as with western docs, TCM practitioners and chiropractors are not all created equal. Find out what's right for you, talk to people you know who have used a chiropractor for themselves and their children. Talk to me. If you are in Palm Beach County or Jacksonville I can lead you in the right direction but that's all I've got. You are looking for a Whole-Body minded doc, because.... well isn't it obvious? We want to treat the whole body; there is no such thing as isolating treatment in the human body, everything is connected.

Buddhababy and Dr. Ian

Tongue-tie Part 2

Since my last tongue-tie post when our son was diagnosed with tongue-tie I have learned a few things... that a lot of people go through this with their babies and many of them have a hard time getting anyone to listen to their concerns about their child's tongue-tie. In fact, there are people out there who do not even acknowledge that tongue-tie exists (which I think is really weird). So, if you suspect that your child has tongue-tie and you are having difficulty breastfeeding, you are not alone. There are many resources out there so start searching and be persistent, this doesn't have to ruin your ability to breastfeed successfully. I would start with tonguetie.net and search for pages on facebook, there are a lot of people who are going through this. As I am about to share, the process of getting tongue-tie fixed is itself very quick and pretty easy (unless you are me and simply freak out at the idea of a doctor doing ANYTHING and compensate by terrorizing said doctor with lists of questions-but whatever I am thorough).


When we met with the ENT doctor we were filled with anticipation because we didn't know what to expect or what it would be like. We mostly expected that the snip would occur that day right there in the office. Ricky came with me to the appointment because he did not want to miss being there in case they were going to snip JR's tongue-tie that day. The doctor came in and explained to us what tongue-tie was and how often he saw patients with this exact same problem. He reassured us that this diagnosis was something he saw all the time and literally had performed hundreds of frenuloplastys (clipping the frenulum to release the tongue). Once he checked JR he confirmed that there was a short frenulum and he thought that snipping it, especially at this age, would be beneficial. He explained that he is not set up to do it in the office and so down the hall there is a surgical center he uses for same-day patients. The idea of bringing JR into an OR setting terrified me but the doctor reiterated that it would still be no big deal. They gave us some paperwork to read over and set up the appointment for one week later.

I read the paperwork on the way home and by the time we got home I had a page of questions for the surgeon. This is because they give the same paperwork to everyone and assume that the patient will be getting a local anesthetic. So I called and left a message and the following day the surgeon did call me back and answer all my questions. I wanted to make sure that there would be no needles (like an IV used), no blood taken, I wanted to know is he would be strapped down or swaddled, how long he would be away from us-- I am thorough-and a western doctor's thorn. I hate blanket protocol and it is the basis of western medicine. Don't get me wrong, I know there is a reason for it and I don't HATE western medicine but I attended graduate school for Traditional Chinese Medicine and I believe that people should be more than a chart and so I am going to ask all the questions I need to until I am comfortable. Lets just say that I am sure the doctor was glad to be free of us at the end of the week. I only contacted him twice and the second time was because they wanted me to restrict any food from my 11 week old baby for four hours. I get it-protocol- but he wasn't getting anesthesia. I really didn't want to piss everyone off so I yielded and held JR off for 3 hours and lied and said four.

On the day of the 'surgery,' Ricky and I were both a mess. He thought I couldn't tell but I know my husband and he was freaking out. He could've easily stayed home and my mom would have taken us but there was no way Daddy was letting his little boy go to that surgery center without him. Luckily JR was the first patient of the day because I don't think we could've handled the anticipation of a later appointment. We were up by 5am, it was pouring rain and black outside. Aside from the annoyance of having to drive in the storm, I was comforted by the steady rain and rolling thunder. I could relate every long minute of this morning but the reality is that it was over so quickly that  I would be building you up for nothing. It was our fears of having to take our baby to an operating room that made this day intense and not the procedure itself.

  As with any nerve-wracking experience there was a crazy person to distract us from our self-inflicted melodrama. There was a mom in the waiting room who was way too hopped up at 6am and kept getting oober close to us while telling us how her daughter is always sick and then proceeding to repeatedly ask her daughter if she wanted to "touch the baby." These are the times I am so grateful that wearing the Ergo allows me to politely refuse to allow others to touch our baby. We thought once we went into the surgical area we would be free but this lady even found us in our little private spot during the few minutes JR was away from us and started telling us some crazy horror story until a nurse shooed her away.

 We walked into a hospital-like setting where we were greeted by a surgical staff who asked a lot of questions and filled out A LOT of paperwork. Everyone was very friendly, even the anesthesiologist, whose presence within itself made me nervous. When the nurse came to take JR, I could feel both Ricky and I tense up but we held it together and just stood there watching him being carried down the hall. I wanted to cry. But I refrained and they took us around the corner to wait. It was maybe 5 minutes, maybe. They brought him out and he wasn't crying or anything. The look on his face I could tell he had been crying but he was over it and ready for his booby. He stared up at me as he nursed and didn't look away until he was sure I wasn't going anywhere and after the most intense stare-down I have ever received, he closed his eyes. The surgeon came out and spoke to us but all I heard was that everything went well. The rest just escaped me. It was so small a time and really the whole drama of it was that we had to have this whole production at a surgical center in an operating room.

It has been almost two months since JR's tongue-tie was clipped. I was expecting some big change but there was no "ah-ha" moment. It was gradual and took awhile for me to notice a change. He does feed better and he definitely has so much more mobility with his tongue. This is normal, especially since he had a very strong latch before the clipping anyway. In the end I am glad we took care of it at an age where he did not have to go under anesthesia and it was over in minutes.

Your baby sleeps where?!?

"... I’ve learned a lot about the gangs. I’ve learned to recognize the Cribs’ distinctive attire (if I see a pair of orange Crocs coming my way, I just cross the street). I’ve come to know the Beds’ brutal hazing rituals (which they refer to as “Bikram yoga”). I’ve learned each gang’s colorful parenting patois." -Peter Birkenhead in "Cribs vs. Beds..."

nap time at its finest

Peter Birkenhead's article, "Cribs vs. Beds: Parenthood's all-out war" gives a hilarious overview of the 'where will baby sleep' and 'what does that say about my parenting' issue. There really is no correct answer to where your baby sleeps and I don't mean that in a whatever-is-right-for-you kind of way. I mean, that no matter how you answer the question regarding where your baby counts little baby sheep, you will be wrong. Although, I maintain that in this country we live in a crib-sleeping based society and therefore far less judgement is placed on those who put their baby in a crib than on those who decide to co-sleep. But to be fair, there is clearly judgement on both sides of the bed rails.
If you tell someone you co-sleep they automatically assume you to be the most reckless breed of tree-hugger. You are nutty granola made with unsalted raw nuts and no m&ms! Cribs (those who have crib-sleeping infants) aren't sure if you hate your child by wanting to turn them into a clingy nightmare or are just stupid and codependant. In general, I do find the Cribs lot to be of the self-soothing persuasion and many of them are still waiting for Ricky and I to let JR 'cry it out.' Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock. Keep waiting people. It is 'casually' and constantly brought up to us is like people truly fear for this INFANT who is tended to each time he cries. Then there are the Beds (co-sleepers) who find crib-sleeping to be barbaric in general; cribs are cold, empty, lonely and NOTHING like a womb. Crib-sleeping is seen as heartless as it is dangerous. This danger is perceived due to the high rate of SIDS in the U.S., which is comparatively dominated by cribs used for sleeping infants. Also, the crib is seen as a sign of a selfish parent and a future needy/unruly child that is filled with insecurity. So, you see, there is no right answer and both sides think you are ruining your child. With what you may know about me, you have probably already decided that I am a co-sleeper and you aren't wrong... entirely. I think, in our heads and hearts, both Ricky and I are Beds, but in reality we have been battling this issue from the minute JR stopped sleeping in the womb. The benefits of co-sleeping (when done correctly) are really what resonate with me: more peaceful sleeping/less infant startling, more stable physiology, decrease in SIDS risk, and long-term emotional health benefits. These are just a few of the benefits according to Dr. Sears-I will write a more detailed post about co-sleeping in the future because there is a huge benefit to breastfeeding mothers as well. The main preventing factors for us right now are our bed size and the great big 'WHAT IF...' You can fill in all sorts of fears that go along with having the baby in a bed and I don't think we are alone in our biggest fear probably relating to risks of suffocation (even though I am clearly aware of the baby while we are sleeping, its more of a half sleep). For now, I will explain where we stand and share the full-blown war-on-sleep that we are facing in our home...

As if hearing everyone constantly comment on how our little buddha baby is the size of a 6 month old, at almost 3 months, doesn't already send my worrying (and googling) into overdrive, he has now outgrown his sleeper. The first week he slept in a co-sleeper mini bed that sat on our bed, but it took up a huge portion of our queen sized bed and made for horrible sleeping for us. We wanted him in the bed with us but we were both just too timid. He was so small and I was constantly checking and re-checking on him that it was our nerves that kept us from just laying him next to us fearing we would never fall asleep, ever again. Then, he slept in a bassinet up against the bed for a couple weeks, which went well but he started having pretty bad acid reflux and this made for horrible sleeping for him and us. Finally, we settled on a snuggily rocker that rests him at an incline (to help reduce acid reflux) and that is what he has been sleeping in for the last couple months. Unfortunately, it has become apparent that the fit is now a little too tight. I double checked to see if he could go back to the bassinet but no luck- he has surpassed the weight limit. Yes he does weigh more than 15lbs at 12 weeks but he is exclusively breastfed so lets save that whole discussion for another time. The rocker he has been sleeping in since 3-4 weeks old is still usable by weight recommendations but so snug that it's become a source of discomfort for him by about 4am when he would really start trying to move around. We reluctantly took the next logical step: Ricky moved the crib out of the nursery and put it into our room. End of story, no big deal, case closed... right? Not a chance, not in this family.

Buddhababy's first evening on " the outside," resting in his co-sleeper

Living large in his rocker

During my pregnancy we didn't give much thought to co-sleeping and I think we planned to use a crib once he outgrew his bassinet because our bed is small and cramped between Ricky, myself and our dog, Bodhi. But since JR's birth, something inside us changed and the crib became a symbol of all that is wrong and unnatural in the world. I don't think either of us has since even considered that this dreaded piece of furniture would be used until it was converted into a toddler bed. But, lo and behold this frightening beast is now our room like a huge espresso colored elephant that taunts us day and night.

As Ricky reassembled the crib in our room, I paced around with JR safely in his K'Tan acting as though I was straightening up for some new 'guest' in our sleeping domain. Once finished, him and JR relaxed while I went in to set up the crib essentials. I tested the motion monitor (which I still don't actually trust to monitor his breathing), put on the sheet and decided/obsessed about whether to use the bumpers. It just so happens that JPMA released a statement saying they are pro-bumper when used properly and this created an internal war of should I or shouldn't I in my head. Anyhow, I am still being teased for the sight Ricky witnessed when he came to check on me. Apparently, I was quite flustered moving the bumper all around the crib, checking and rechecking the mattress, and quoted mumbling something to the effect of, "so help me, if this thing harms our son..." But I finally got everything arranged and when it was time for bed, we followed our normal routine: JR was swaddled, nursed and rocked to sleep. Ricky placed him in bed (now the crib) and that was that...right?... ha ha ha

testing things out

In a million years I would not have predicted that DADDY would lose his damn mind and turn into a mommy sized worry-wart! Well, maybe I could have guessed he would be nervous but the extent of it- no way. He is used to getting up in the night because our system works with him putting the baby in my arms to nurse and putting him back down to sleep. The difference is that the baby is usually in his rocker that sits just below level with our bed, the top of his head even with my head and he's within arm's reach. This normally allows me to be a worry-wart and sleep simultaneously; I am close enough to hear him breathe, touch him just to make sure and on occasion (like nightly) I will keep my hand on the rocker. What I now realize is that by me satisfying my constant worry, Ricky didn't need to worry about worrying and could relax knowing that I was all over it. The crib has disturbed this delicate balance and has daddy up when he hears the baby, crawling over me when he doesn't hear him, and getting back up when he thinks he may have heard him but isn't sure. Amazingly for me, I was able to lay there because Ricky kept getting up and relieving my need to. That was just night one.

The crib lasted one entirely sleep-deprived, nerve-wracked, fight-over-who-had-less-sleep week and what a week! JR had horrible gassy stomach issues the whole time, which caused him to make awful noises while he slept. He was colicky as hell and so were we. Every night was some new challenge that prevented adequate sleep, but Saturday night was the last straw....the movement monitor went off and for anyone who doesn't know, this is to signal you when your baby stops breathing. Holy hell! We were out of bed in a flash and diving toward the crib. In retrospect, this was probably quite a funny sight with us leaping out of bed, me throwing the monitor off the nightstand to stop the noise, the lamp going with it as a casualty of war, Ricky flying across the bed, arms flailing everywhere, Bodhi jumping to escape being trampled and just complete chaos. All the while, our little angel was fine and barely even roused by the commotion. He had scooted his swaddled little ass down off of the monitor pad thus causing the alarm to go off. In that split second, parenting reality was solidified into my being and now stares me in the face- I am no longer the childless person I have been for all these years and this new person, this parent, is a cuckoo bird! Needless to say, I waited until I regained my composure- we were huffing and puffing all dramatically- and then got JR out of the crib and placed him on my chest to sleep for the rest of the night. (This form of sleeping, sitting up and being encircled by Boppy pillows works, but be warned, its not made for comfort.) As we settled back into bed, Ricky simply stated, "We are getting that Arms Reach co-sleeper tomorrow," and that's exactly what we did. Not that it has been much easier....

 putting together the co-sleeper

First night in the co-sleeper as a bassinet didn't go well and it turned into the last night he wore a swaddle."Miracle Blanket" is no more

Our bed has a ledge on it which makes it impossible to set the co-sleeper up as anything but a bassinet. This is fine because I just push it up against the bed but the sides are pretty high and I have to drape my arm over them. It is a large bed which is great except that JR had taken to hurdling himself around in it. The first night of the co-sleeper was the last night of the swaddle. When Ricky got up to see what all the noise was about, JR had hulked out of his swaddle and has since refused to be put back in it. As inconvenient as it is to lose the swaddle, that moment was worth it as we both broke out in hysterics at our beautiful little boy half in and half out of his 'Miracle Blanket' smiling up at us oblivious of the turmoil we were facing.

For now, the crib has been put back in its proper place in the nursery where it serves as a very pretty piece of furniture adept at cutely holding stuffed animals and hiding stuff not in use. We are adjusting to putting JR to sleep (or rather trying to keep him asleep) without a swaddle in the hopes that it is safer than him hurdling his swaddled self all over the co-sleeper. As our personal war between our bed and crib continues I think I will read James McKenna's book on co-sleeping and I must have faith that we will find our own familial sleeping balance.

Here is a link to the article I quoted at the beginning of this post, It's a great article written by a daddy and perfect for a laugh: http://www.salon.com/2010/07/02/cribs_v_beds_parenting_wars/ )

Getting a little big for his rocker

his favorite sleeping spot

banished back to the nursery

Is it 'crunchy' to wear your baby?

"Okay, Captain. Look, the dealers are the popular kids, but they're not normal popular. They're these crunchy granola dudes that have convinced everyone they're cool. But they're not cool. It's backwards and unnatural and it's gotta be stopped!" -Channing Tatum, 21 Jump Street


I have been wondering lately if babywearing is considered "crunchy." I remember when I first moved back to Florida from San Diego, I would get all offended when someone would call me "granola;" it happened a lot. At the time, I felt that it's kinda like calling someone a hippie and I don't wear patchouli oil. Plus, I shave like I have some personal vendetta against body hair. Not that I have any problem with hippies, I am quite fond of them I just don't see myself as one. But its been years now and I have grown quite comfortable with this once dreaded accusation. People expect me to be a little "crunchy." But to me, I am just being me and I think of it as more being in tune with myself and the world around me than anything. What people don't expect (and I must say it catches me off guard at times) is how "crunchy" my husband has grown to be. Although, I think there is a large bridge between punk rock and "crunchy" and it is on this bridge that my husband treads. He still has tattoos everywhere, listens to loud music (when JR is not around) and lives in band t-shirts, only you can't tell because there is a baby carrier covering the shirt now. Whether it's the Moby Wrap or the Ergo (our Baby K'Tan is too small for him) he loves babywearing and I love him all the more for it. Last night, he saw a woman in a ring sling at Whole Foods and walked us right up to her to find out the "scoop" and I guarantee that we will have our very own Sweet Pea Ring Sling very soon (she makes one for the beach/water!).



Anyway, what makes me wonder about where babywearing fits into parenting/life style is that the frequency of which we see it, changes depending on our environment. The openly breastfeeding community seems to be big babywearers along with the people who were in our Hypnobirthing class and that general natural birthing crowd. Places like Whole Foods tend to have babywearers in plain sight but other than that I find myself to be the only one not donning a stroller in public. Truthfully, our stroller gets the most use when Nonna is helping me on our errands because he is a bit too chunky for my tiny Italian mother to be strapping him on. Even then, I am usually wearing him. Regardless of where it falls on the spectrum of parenting, there are so many advantages to babywearing that I thought I should share a few for those unfamiliar with just how awesome it is.

Babywearing is naturally comforting for both parent and baby. This is especially true for mothers and babies. You just spent 9 months together and to think that after all that bonding it is natural to just set baby down is crazy! Besides milk, the thing that babies need and want most is physical contact and this provides that while giving mom full mobility and the freedom to accomplish daily tasks.

Babies are happier and more confident. People often say that a quiet baby is a "good" baby. Aside from the ridiculous notion that a crying baby is a "bad" baby, we all want our babies to be as happy as they can be. Babies who are a part of their mother's day and see things from their viewpoint are often quite content. Instead of creating a "clingy" baby, it helps babies to feel more confident because mothers are more in tune with their baby's needs and respond very quickly. Besides that, wearing your baby gives him/her a sense of closeness even when you are focusing on other tasks. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding states, "plenty of loving contact does not "spoil" a baby or make him more demanding, but instead helps him feel more comfortable and happy in his new world."

It is a great way for dad to bond with a breastfeeding baby. As my husband and I have both learned, it can be a little hard for dad in the first couple months of life to find his place in the baby's routine. It can be hard when all baby does is breastfeed and sleep. Even though it is not for us, I can see why couples do pump so that dad can feed baby and feel that closeness. But this is another way for dad to spend quality time with baby and help solidify that bond (unless baby is hungry and then there is a raging bull attached to dad's chest which is hilarious-for a minute).

Babywearing meets babies' physical needs. According to the LLL (La Leche League), "Babies need and enjoy motion. In the womb, they become accustomed to the sound of mother's heart pumping blood and to the feeling of being confined in a small space. The experience of being in the womb also teaches them to enjoy the rhythm of their mother’s movements. After birth, the experience of being held close to a parent’s body helps them recall the peace they felt in the womb." Also, this movement helps to dispel gas which, any parent of a colicky baby can tell you, is such an important thing. Babywearing helps babies vestibular system: the inner ear controlling balance, as well as, helps babies breathe and grow better.

Another point, that I do not as often see on lists but is a favorite of mine, is that it prevents strangers (for the most part) from touching your little one. People LOVE to touch babies and I do not love random people touching me, let alone our child. Wearing the baby tends to stop this behavior because people have to get uncomfortably close to you in order to touch your baby and most will not do this. I love this for many reasons, but a good one is that is restricts the amount of germs people can gob onto your baby. I am not a germ-a-phobe but I do prefer JR to be restricted in who is germafying him at this stage.

So, "crunchy" or not I think that the advantages to wearing your baby are outstanding in comparison with keeping him or her "in a bucket" all the time. Remember that infants CANNOT be spoiled by too much contact. Even if you held your baby for 16 hours a day, it would still be less than what they are accustomed to in the womb. You are not training them for the "real world" at this age, instead with a lack of contact you may be sending a message of insecurity and inconsistency. Stay tuned for my reviews on the different carriers we use, and of course plenty of pictures. Until then I will tell you that so far our overall favorite is our Organic Ergo carrier with infant insert. We like each one for different reasons but this one gets the most use to date.

Such a proud daddy

Moby



Looking at me from in the K'Tan



Baby K'Tan

 

Strolling in the Ergo



Artificial induction of labor at its worst...

Sometimes you realize how blessed you truly are; I did this morning. I met a girl whose birth story just broke my heart. She wanted a birth center birth or home birth and was bullied out of it by everyone telling her it just wasn't safe. The anger and pain in her face as she spoke of the events that unfolded and seeing how her and her beautiful baby would never be the same and never have a 'normal' life.... and to think that I was all cranky due to a lack of sleep the last couple nights. I know that story could have been from either side of the fence and I am sure there are stories that argue FOR hospital birth. I just wish that people would respect that A MOTHER KNOWS. Let her choose the birth she wants without imposing the birth YOU think she should have. If you had a wonderful hospital birth, you can share that as I do my home birth but never make a mother feel bad about her choice. To love a mommy-to-be is to encourage her to follow her own vision and help her along that path. -Aug 9

I cried at the social security office that day and it wasn't because I had to sit there all over again just to get my card with my married name on it. My mom was hanging out in the car with buddha baby while I waited inside because she is sweet enough to do that and ease my neuroses about having him in places such as crowded government buildings at 11 weeks old. There was a girl sitting next to me with a stroller that had a baby small enough to still need the carseat locked in and of course this brought out the social part of me as a new mommy. I asked her how old her baby was and explained that I had an 11 week old outside. She told me her baby was 6 months old and immediately asked me where I gave birth. I told her that I had our baby at home and, with this, she opened up about her entire birthing story. While speaking, she was so angry and so passionate that the guard at the front actually had to ask us to keep it down a couple times. It was clear that she was unhappy with her hospital birth and at first, I was happy to agree and interject a few great upsides to having a baby at home. Even now I feel a little bad because I know that as soon as I start talking about our birth I glow a bit. I can feel my face flush a little and I will gush about as much as anyone wants to hear about the entire experience. She was glowing too, but with rage at her whole experience and I cannot even pretend to know how she feels. Sitting here, I can see her face and my heart hurts for her.


I want to note here that if you are pregnant I would prefer you not read the following section until after you have given birth. I will mark 'STOP' and then 'START' where to pick up again. I believe it is best not to read about any scary birth stories while pregnant because you get enough of them everywhere else and also because it is a minority of people who have such things happen. There is no useful purpose in scaring yourself. In hypnobirthing, I was taught to stop people who wanted to tell me all their painful horrors during birth until after I was pregnant and I was glad I did. What I will do is post important information at the end so you can become informed of certain risks involved with medical labor inductions. I will just guide you to ask the right questions and have an idea how to protect yourself from unnecessary risks. So please skip this for now and scroll down to the 'START'

[STOP]

She told me how she had wanted to actually have a birthing center birth and even knew about the birth center in Ft Lauderdale (our ladies at Palms Birth House were not finished with the licensing until about a week after buddha baby was born, making it the first licensed birth house in Palm Beach County). She explained how everyone around her was so against it because they swore it was just too dangerous to birth outside of the hospital. As I have said before and will again, the people around you can really influence how you feel about your birth and birth in general and their fear can easily become your own if you let it. Even if you try not to let it, it can still get you because it is ingrained in our culture. At this point in the conversation, I am still interjecting little tidbits about my birth too. As she delves into a story about elective induction because the doctors said it would just be more convenient and prevent her baby from getting "too big," booster pitocin to move things along faster, an epidural given at 9 cm, and of course an episiotomy to top it all off, I get quiet and just listen. While these things bother me, along with all non-medically indicated pregnancy interventions, they aren't as uncommon as one might think so I wasn't sure where she was going. As she brought her baby out she explained that the extensive use of inducing drugs during her labor caused contractions that were so long and intense, her baby was being deprived of oxygen-rich blood. It was about now that I realized that her 6 month old was smaller than my 11 week old and had very little muscle control. She continued on with this horror story only to explain that her baby, who initially scored highly on the apgar test, deteriorated quickly in the first 24 hours and now has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy. As she pulls out a bottle she tells me how she wanted to breastfeed but the nurses told her a couple hours after birth that her baby was now too hungry and since he hadn't latched they had to give him formula (instead of helping her latch of course).   As she continued on about lawyers, disability and NICA, I froze, I wanted to reach out and tell her how beautiful her baby was but I didn't want her to feel placated since telling me this story. I felt awful that she was so heart-broken and I had been sitting their gushing about my awesome birth. My eyes swelled with tears and I simply told her how sorry I was. I didn't even want to really look directly at them for fear she thought I was staring, At this point my number was called and I had to go. I offered my condolences and walked off in a daze. On the way out, I stopped again and told her good luck but that was it. What else could I say? I don't know her and can't pretend to understand her experiences. So, I write and decide that all I can do is familiarize people with the reality of convenience induction and warn against the practice of chemically boosting while already in labor.
      
  [Since I had no idea at the time what NICA was or why she was so angry about it, I looked it up and according to http://www.justiceforall.com/neurological-injury-compensation-act/  NICA is an acronym that stands for Neurological Injury Compensation Act. It is another attempt to chip away at an injured individual’s right to hold the person that hurt them responsible for his or her actions. It is a no-fault system that provides that if certain situations regarding notice and type of injury are met, an injured child may be deprived of his or her right to sue, and instead be given a nominal amount of money by the state. The lawyers for the insurance companies and medical profession know this, and they try to thrust NICA on these children that bring claims. I used this website because at the official website it tells you simply how wonderful NICA is and that did not seem to be her take on it at all.]

This beautiful girl with a 6 month old baby was pouring out her heart to me and it was like watching her walk through a nightmare. I know I can't feel guilty about my own happiness but I sit there thinking, "Why did I go on about delayed cord clamping and skin-on-skin contact?! Did I really boast how my awesome midwives encouraged me to take all that time while buddha baby crowned? Seriously, I feel like an ass!" She is the epitome of my fears about hospital births and yet the logical part of me knows that this story can be told from both sides. I could have just as easily sat next to someone who had a horror natural birth story (well maybe not JUST as likely but it unfortunately happens). I was not there for her birth nor can I confirm the exact facts of it, but in her heart, this was the hospital and doctor's fault entirely and I am one to trust the mother. She did not want to be induced at 37 weeks because she felt like her baby wasn't ready yet. She had NO medical indication for induction aside from the doctor telling her it would be most convenient for everyone. This horrifies me and makes my blood boil! The continued use of pitocin as a booster and then being ignored by nurses when telling them that something wasn't right once her baby was born, the list goes on. It is insane! Its like when I hear, "...thank god they did a c-section, the cord was wrapped around the neck." [The umbilical cord is often wrapped around a baby's neck and as long as there is not a severe knot in this cord, it poses no danger and is simply slipped off at birth. Babies get their blood and oxygen from within this cord, not from traditional throat breathing as they do after birth.] It baffles me that induction is used so often without proper warning of the very real side effects that come with it. I did a brief search on correlation between induction and cerebral palsy and in a recent study by Elkamil et al  (2011) "...found that labor induction at term was associated with excess risk of bilateral spastic CP and in particular CP with four-limb involvement." http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21275920

[START]

What is induction of labor? It is defined as the process of artificially stimulating the uterus to start labor. In a hospital and OB setting, it is usually performed by administering oxytocin or prostaglandins to the pregnant woman or by manually rupturing the amniotic membranes. But, please note that there are many other ways of encouraging labor naturally. To medically induce labor, the risk of staying in the womb should outweigh
 the risk of induction to mother and baby. These medical indications include things such as cancer, hypertension, diabetes, kidney disease, small-for-dates baby and waters releasing without labor beginning in a reasonable time frame.

Why is this important to know about induction?

It is so common now to know someone who has their labor induced. In fact, the majority of people I know did have their labor induced and in only one of them was it medically indicated. According to the World Health Organization, induction rates in any geographic area should not exceed 10 percent. This is nuts when considering that a U.S. hospital can vary from 12 to 55 percent and individual doctors can have a rate upwards of 80 percent. What compounds the scariness of this is what ISN'T being told to mothers such as how this will affect them and their unborn child. A baby born at 37 is considered full-term but that by no means means that baby is ready to be born. At 37 weeks, a baby's brain weighs only 80 percent of what it will weigh at 40 weeks. That all-important cerebral cortex is the last part of the brain to develop and it is essential for things like cognition, reasoning and motor control. The point I am making is that there is a reason a baby stays in the womb as long as he or she does and that reason has NOTHING to do with a doctor's social schedule or yours. Convenience is not an indication for labor induction and while those last few weeks can seem like an eternity for some people, they are so important to the health and well-being of your child.

Some of the risks that artificial induction of labor brings are: increased pain to the mother which in turn increases the use of epidurals (which carries a whole other set of risks); increased fetal distress; lack of oxygen-rich blood reaching the fetus during these often more intense and frequent contractions; lack of oxygen to the fetus causing neurological problems in the newborn baby; continuous fetal monitoring which inhibits mobility during labor and increases pain; a huge increase in likelihood of cesarean; and an increase in the passage of meconium during labor which if inhaled by the baby causes serious breathing difficulties. There is also the risk of having a premature baby from induced labor and the risks that come with being born premature a far too great for me to cover in this blog. Again, these are just some of the risks that come with a practice that is supposed to reduce labor and birth complications.

I want to interject here that the suggestion of induction was one of the factors that changed my birth plan from an OB to a midwife. At 16 weeks I wanted to start establishing who my doctor would be so that I did not have to keep repeating my birth plan to all of these people. Also, different doctors had different answers to my questions and this was frustrating. I was told that if I wanted to know who would be there then I should just be induced at term and hope I had the baby while that doctor remained on duty. This horrifying suggestion was said to me in such a casual way that I as I left the building I burst into tears swearing that I couldn't do this, I couldn't have a baby like this- this was INSANITY to me!

The World Health Organization is clear in stating:

-Induction of labour should be performed only when there is a clear medical indication for it and the expected benefits outweigh its potential harms.

-In applying the recommendations, consideration must be given to the actual condition, wishes and preferences of each woman, with emphasis being placed on cervical status, the specific method of induction of labour and associated conditions such as parity and rupture of membranes.

-Induction of labour should be performed with caution since the procedure carries the risk of uterine hyperstimulation and rupture and fetal distress.

-Failed induction of labour does not necessarily indicate cesarean section.

Questions to ask
(Remember that it is your RIGHT as a pregnant woman to have ALL of your questions answered! No matter how annoyed the doctor may seem, or how rushed for time they appear, this is your body and your baby. Ask questions before it is too late to switch providers, this really is all about you and not about the provider at all. If someone won't answer you or keeps brushing you off... switch.)

• Why are you scheduling an induction of labor?
• What are the risks of inducing my labor?
• I know that my due date is only an estimate. What precautions will you take to make sure my baby is not born too early?
• How do you plan to induce my labor?
• How will an induction affect my labor and the health of my baby?
• I know that compared to waiting for labor to begin on its own, an induction is more likely to lead to a cesarean section. What measures would you take to reduce my odds for a cesarean?

All I am posing here is that you get informed. Know your risks and rights and double check. If what the provider is saying doesn't feel right, get another opinion, or another provider. A mother's intuition is an amazing thing, don't ignore it. Your body is designed to do this, it is not flawed and you are capable of having the perfect birth, whatever that means to you.

the BIG latch on 2012

Mamatography photo from the BIG latch on

On Augueszt 4th, in celebration of world breastfeeding week, Ricky and I attended our first 'BIG Latch On' event and had such a blast (in spite of the chaos and the HEAT). South Florida has a heat that one just never gets used to, its like walking around in a steaming oven. Not to mention that we had our friends Heatherly and Philip from San Diego here, where it is perfect and 70 degrees every single day. Regardless, it is so funny how timing for things just works out. Heatherly and Philip just happen to come into town in time for this event, she just happens to be pregnant and glowing and they couldn't be happier to join us in gathering with a lot of moms to expose a lot of boobs! Its funny because this is the first time since living in SD that I felt a little like the old me. The west-coast me. When I lived in San Diego it was so common to go and get involved doing things bigger than one's self-involved life and a little off the wall in the best of ways. There are many reasons I miss SD but I think that is one of them. I miss having a niche of people that are like-minded and want something more not only for themselves but those around them. I miss doing silly things for betterment and being inspired. Also, having Heatherly and her husband with us made me realize part of why we hold 'Amazing Births and Beyond' so near and dear to our hearts. They are this hub for all things loving and empowering in the world of parenting. Lorie and all the people there are awesome people who are turning their vision into reality and we love being a part of it. They are kinda like our niche.

Buddha baby and I were right up front to the right

almost time!

Great turnout of mommies

So, just for information sake, let me explain what the 'BIG Latch On' is. According to their website, it is:

"Groups of breastfeeding women coming together at registered locations around the world to all latch on their child at a set time. All the breastfeeding women and children are latched on for one minute at the set time and are counted by the witnesses. The numbers are added up and we see if we can beat previous Big Latch On records or maybe even the world record!


The key to the Big Latch On's success is allowing communities to hold their Big Latch On events, empowering them to create an event that relates to the people of their community, while still taking part in a worldwide event."

The point of it all:

Support for communities to identify and grow opportunities to provide ongoing breastfeeding support and promotion.
Raise awareness of breastfeeding support and knowledge available in communities.
Help communities positively support breastfeeding in public places.
Make breastfeeding a normal part of the day-to-day life at a local community level.
Increase support for women who breastfeed - women are supported by their partners, family and the breastfeeding knowledge that is embedded in their communities.
Communitiies have the resources to advocate for coordinated appropriate and accessible breastfeeding support services.

Each event is personalized by those who host it and the common theme is that all the mamas have their nurslings latch on at 10:30am local time and nurse for one minute. When we saw that Lorie was hosting this event we knew (well I knew and Ricky was defintely ready to support me) that it was something we wanted to go to. While most of the people in my life are supportive, I don't have many breastfeeding mamas around and I figured that Lorie would attract my kind of crowd. It totally was. There was baby-wearing galore and oh the Ergos! One mama heard me cooing over her green performance Ergo and stopped to tell me how awesome it is-definitely our kind of crowd.

This is the Performance Ergo-Love it!

Once we walked up it was pretty close to 10:30 so we got set up in the tent and buddha baby was more than ready to do his part! The hostesses and vendors passed out water and gelato smoothie shots (so yummy) and gave away prizes. We all latched and were accounted for and the rest is history.

Such a proud Daddy

He was ready for booby time he didn't care about the clock!

Latch On!



Ricky, Heatherly and Philip



Mamas <3



The husbands being all silly



They had booby cookies!!



A Pain in the Boob

I am repeatedly saddened at how many people I speak with who tell me they tried breastfeeding but it just didn't work out for them. I understand it, but I hate to hear it. Before I gave birth, I was told that the most important factors in succeeding with nursing are having support and self determination and I agree. While breastfeeding is the most natural and healthy thing you can do for yourself and your baby, it does not exactly come naturally and there are hurdles that can be very challenging with or without loving support. There have been moments where, were I not so determined, I could have felt like I just wasn't good at breastfeeding. This past week is a great example because having a blocked milk duct has definitely been a test in dedication.

I am very lucky to have a husband, mother, friends, midwives and a doula who support me in nursing. Even with this foundation, I have also seen two lactation consultants for help. I believe you can NEVER have too much of the right kind of support. I feel for people who have no one to support their decision to nurse and it infuriates me that someone could be made to feel weird or guilty for wanting to do what is best for their infant. Let me just say that the previous statement is not simply my opinion: breastfeeding, when physically possible, IS what is best for an infant-FACT. I can see how negativity and guilt can greatly effect a new mom as I have also had some unsolicited "help" which was not helpful at all, in fact it was discouraging. So, I believe it is important to follow your gut and have people you trust to ask questions to. I have not yet been to a La Leche League meeting but I plan to because I hear they are a great support system for nursing mothers.

What my newest breastfeeding 'adventure' has taught me:

A blocked/plugged milk duct is when there is an obstruction blocking your milk from flowing. It can either be superficial (on the nipple) or down in the duct. I don't care where it is, it is not pleasant. The symptoms usually include a hardened lump in the breast that may be hot or swollen and feel bruised.  Personally, it felt like there had been an all-out mystery assault on my left breast and I was suffering the consequences. They say it comes on gradually but I did not notice it until it was really there. I am mentioning this just in case someone reading this could be nervous that the symptoms they are reading about on whatever website they googled don't exactly match their own-everyone is different. My biggest worry when my breast began to really hurt was 1) that it was mastitis and 2) it would never go away. Neither of these fears came to pass but they haunted me nonetheless. I learned from our midwife that mastitis is HORRIBLE and you know if you have that because you feel incredibly sick; like death. I never felt sick just like I had a lot of pain in my breast. I am not exactly sure what caused my blocked duct because there is a laundry list of reasons it can happen. I did have a blocked pore which looked like a small white spot on my nipple and it hurt -especially after I tried to open it by poking it with an acupuncture needle (I don't recommend this, regardless of TCM training it just isn't fun). There is a good chance I got this bleb from an improper latch. As I have discussed, buddha baby is mildly tongue-tied and we don't have the best latch. The majority of pain was within the breast and it hurt whenever I put ANY pressure on it including holding buddha baby on that side or trying to sleep on my stomach (which can also cause a plug).

Resolving the problem:

OK, so I had a block, if you currently have one I am sure all you care about is how to get rid of it. I was very diligent in performing all the tasks to rid myself of this wretched thing. Plus, I was motivated by knowing that a blocked duct left untreated can turn into mastitis and that is a game I have no interest in playing. I was told by our midwife to put a Castor oil pack on it with as hot of heat as I could stand- I did this...a lot. That part actually felt good as well as taking hot showers. I massaged my breast, which hurt like hell but I did it before I nursed, after I nursed and in the shower. Speaking of nursing, I nursed and nursed and nursed. I nursed on the painful breast almost every time he was hungry even if it was only a little and this pain made massage feel like a cake-walk. I didn't neglect my other boob but I really wanted this blockage out. I also fed in many different positions, including one where I leaned over him as he lay on the bed. It was a little awkward but I read that the gravity really helps bring out the plug. Something, or everything, worked and I am no longer in pain. I did not see the plug come out but I knew it was gone when I started filling with milk and didn't want to cry when there was a little pressure on my chest. I was expecting to feel it come out and have some big release or ahhh moment. I suppose I didn't feel it plug and thus I did not feel it release.

I just want to take a moment and say that if you are pregnant and planning to breastfeed, please don't be scared by these things. The point here isn't that nursing is hard or unbearable, the point is that at times it takes perseverance. There are challenges that you will face and sometimes you will need support. People will tell you the downsides of breastfeeding even though the upside is the most precious gift you can give to your baby- personalized liquid gold made just for his or her perfect little body. Yes, you are the only one who can feed the baby, unless you pump and bottle-feed which I have not yet been able to bring myself to do. Also, you tend to wake up more often than with formula baby and sometimes your body goes through things like blocked milk ducts or cracked nipples. Is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY!! There is no such thing as formula that is even close to breastmilk-- not even close-- and that is what your baby is designed to live on. Breastmilk is a perfect food. It is a baby's instinct to BF and that bond you create is beyond words....

Tongue Tie Part 1

Choices.

Why does being a parent come with making so many choices?

Although, at the end of the day I guess that is what being a parent is all about. You make the best decisions you can for your child based on the information you have, and hope that you don't royally mess him or her up in the process.

Being pregnant kind of prepares you for this by deciding whether or not you are going to change the pack-a-day/bottle-a-day/cheeseburger-a-day type habits in for a healthy and smoke free womb for your baby. But even still, pregnancy and birthing choices are still about mom AND baby. I think our first real "baby only" decision we had to face was whether or not to keep our baby boy's genitals intact. When I first realized I was going to have to make that decision it was like the roof fell on my head. I am not sure if that is the best analogy but that is how it felt; it was heavy and stressful and HUGE. I know that to some people this decision is simple and is never really even a blip on their screen, but to me and my husband this was a decision that would affect our son for the rest of his life. But, before I get too far off track (this is not a post about circumcision) let me bring it back in, because this is about a choice that certainly isn't as intense as the future genital integrity of our son.

Last week when we went to get our breast pump, the lactation consultant caught a glimpse of Buddhababy's tongue as he was fussing to nurse and she asked me if anyone had talked to me about it. I thought maybe she was going to say thrush because my nips have been a bit sore but she said no, she thinks he could be tongue tied. WTF! How could she even suggest such a thing!?! Wait...what does that even mean?? Yes, that is a little dramatic of a response but that is the immediate stream of thoughts I had at the mere suggestion that there was anything even slightly limiting about this perfect little boy. Not to mention that parenthood has turned me into the most embarrassing type of worry-wart. She asked me about his latch and I told her that he does pull off quite a bit and I do struggle getting a 'proper latch.' But, I know that latching correctly for a first-time mom has a learning period and let me tell you that our little monkey is a chunk, has no problems eating, and I have no issues with supply. He has gained almost a pound a week since birth and he is exclusively breastfed. The lactation consultant explained that tongue tie can cause problems not only breastfeeding but later in life with speech impediments, problems eating and eventually kissing. She gave me the numbers of a couple specialists that would better evaluate his tongue and then, if they said he was in fact tongue tied, they would snip the frenulum. I will refrain from sharing the flow of outrageous thoughts at this casual mention that someone should be snipping something on my son's body. She told me that it is a simple and virtually painless procedure that would instantly improve his latch and give him more tongue mobility. This is all fine and well but I am not just going to let some doctor tell me they need to be snipping anything without a little more research and some trusted opinions (i.e. our midwives).

Here is what I found out:

Ankyloglossia, or 'anchored tongue,' is most commonly referred to as tongue tie and is a common condition that can often be overlooked because so many babies are formula fed. This oversight is because it takes a very different motion of the mouth to feed from a bottle than it does to suckle a real nipple. A bottle will flow pretty much on its own while a nipple needs manipulation and mouth/tongue control. Also, the bottle doesn't get sore from an improper latch and complain.

Specifically, tongue tie is when the lingual frenulum, the cord that runs from the tongue to the bottom of the mouth, is short and restricts tongue mobility. This short frenulum is not always a significant problem and can often resolve itself (depending on who you ask) in a couple years. When it is a problem, it can interfere with breastfeeding, speech, eating and digestion. It can vary in looks and degree from person to person. Classically one looks to see if the tongue makes a 'heart-shape' when the mouth is open- this is often when baby is crying and tongue flexes. What also varies from person to person is the degree of restriction. Some tongue tied babies have trouble latching all together and create a nearly impossible nursing relationship between mother and child (this is not our case). Some people grow to have severe speech problems and some you would never even know. This is where the choice part happens.... is it worth it to go through any procedure if it is not really necessary?

After reading all the information we could find on tongue tie, we were still unsure. Ricky and I decided that we did not think the baby was tongue tied because he doesn't really look like the babies in the pictured examples, but we are also biased and unfamiliar with this condition. So we called Colleen, our midwife, and asked if she would take a look at it and tell us what she thinks. Colleen gladly agreed to help and off to the birth house Buddhababy and I went.

That day I learned not only that Buddhababy does appear to be tongue tied but that our other midwife, Allie, is also tongue tied (with no lisp or articulation issues at all). They both confirmed that the snip was easy and aside from the annoyance of being held down, painless. Also, when compounded with his constant feeding, the pain in my breast from a blocked milk duct and his colic they think it would be very beneficial to have it fixed. At this point I was now ready to ask the pediatrician what she thought. The timing was perfect because today was his 2 month exam. She verified what the lactation consultant and midwives told me and believes that he does have limited mobility and even though he feeds well, it would benefit him to see the ENT (ears, nose, throat) doc and possibly get it snipped. Amusingly, I will mention that the whole time the pediatrician was talking about this I thought she was saying E-M-T and was to embarrassed to ask why on earth an EMT would be better equipped to look at Buddha baby's tongue.

That is where we are today. I saw the pediatrician this morning and I have made an appointment for Monday to see the surgeon. After talking it over with Ricky, we made our choice and I think its the right one. I read that most babies as young as Buddha baby do not need any anesthesia and it is a very simple, minute process. The pediatrician said she isn't sure about that and they may require anesthesia and that will be a big factor in our ultimate decision. It is one thing for a simple snip but a whole other issue if we start talking about knocking out our newbie. I am nervous but will be happy to have it resolved. From what I have gathered, there are no downsides to having it snipped (believe me I searched and asked ad nauseum). I have gone back and forth over whether it is necessary and the pain I feel during nursing right now is probably a heavy factor. I am committed to nursing and have no intention of letting anything get in the way of that-it is too important. So we will see how it goes....


If you think you may have an infant or child who is tongue tied, there is a lot of good information at http://www.tonguetie.net/. Just remember that wach child is defferent and when my husband and I looked, we concluded that our son was not just because we were so used to see his tongue the way it is. Make sure you have your care provider examine your child to be sure but if you are having latching difficulties this could quite possibly be the culprit.

Mealtime at its finest (Breastfeeding pics)

Since I plan to focus a lot on my adventures in breastfeeding, and I absolutely LOVE breastfeeding photography, I will periodically post some of my favorite pics of me and Buddha baby at meal time.

He already established his favorite sleeping spot at 3 days old

I love that look

Bodhi is always close by

Bodhi so close he hogs the photo

Keratitis and BF

[July 19, 2012]

JR is 8 weeks old now and fussy to boot. As we prepared for yet another trip to the eye doctor with hope that my annoying keratitis (an infection of the cornea causing pain and in this case blurry vision) is improving, he wasn’t even calmed by Nonna’s arrival to take us on our outing. He is almost always at least briefly comforted by Nonna. But the tables soon turned: he slept soundly and I became the fussy one as we left the eye doctor. My eye still has not healed and the doctor is insistent that I need to use a steroid drop. We have been struggling with this for a few weeks now. But I am a pain in the ass, especially when it comes to putting things (like drugs) into my body that could possibly go into my breast milk. It took him long enough just to convince me to use the mild antibiotic drop, Polytrim, for a few days. He checked with the ophthalmologist, I checked with the pediatrician and we both researched on the Internet and then I finally agreed. I used it but it didn’t work.

On Monday, after a wait-and-see period, he prescribed Tobramycin (because I refused Tobradex) and told me to ask the pharmacist for any suggestions for ophthalmic drops safe for breastfeeding. BIG MISTAKE!! I casually told the pharmacist that I was breastfeeding and wondered what she thought of the Tobramycin and her thoughts were that I was going to kill my baby’s kidneys with the two drops a day to one eye I was prescribed. The pharmacist advised me to contact Bausch and Lomb and ask one of their scientists to tell me about the clinical outcomes of using the drops and nursing (because their scientists just happen to answer the phone and willingly explain clinical trials to anyone who calls of course). OK at this point I should have just laughed at this obviously irrational person, but no, I let her get in my head and still asked her if she had any suggestions-she did not. I am such a worry-wart already when it comes to JR and this just set my anxiety off!  Needless to say, I went home and researched every medical journal article I could get access to and still found no good answer. Now a normal person would probably just trust the doctor, who is also a parent, but I am a first-time mom, exhausted with a colicky baby and trusting no one! So I didn’t use them, I decided to use breast milk instead. Hey, it worked great on JR's eye and has ridiculous healing properties so why not?

JR has never had a bottle and until yesterday we did not have a pump so aside from dripping a little in his eyes, I had never purposely tried to express my milk. I briefly looked at a diagram and assumed I was a champ because I spend the majority of everyday as a milk machine. That assumption was my first mistake; my second was the atrocious manner in which I attempted to very painfully express my milk. I pushed and pulled my nipples in ways that are just wrong AND got very little milk out. At first, Ricky found this amusing to watch but after it became clear that I was not doing it right, he became concerned and forbid me to continue on this path. But, as I was able to get enough milk to put in my eye I continued to do so throughout the day. [Not to worry, yesterday I learned the proper way to manually express and things have gone much smoother.]

I knew from the fuzzy vision I still have in my left eye that I wasn’t getting good news today. I had high hopes for putting the breast milk in the eye but it simply did not clear it up. This is because I do not have a bacterial infection at this point (maybe because the breast milk IS an awesome antibacterial) and it is inflammation that has to be healed. So, doc has written a script fora mild steroid drop, FML, and we will go from there. He has assured me that JR will be fine but I am going to check with the midwife, just for my sanity. I mean he is already fussy enough and he spends so much of his day attached to my boob that I want to be sure he is safe. As we sat in the pharmacy drive-thru, JR reclaimed his right as fussiest one so we parked and let him eat to restore the peace….for the moment.


Update (August 8, 2012): I used the fluorometholone (FML) drops and it cleared up most of the problem in my eye and caused no reaction in JR at all. I used the drops for a week and made sure to pinch shut the puncta when using them to lessen the chance of it entering the blood stream and thus my milk. The puncta is basically your tear duct and you can see the tiny hole on your bottom eye lid near the inside corner of the eye. I also tried to use the drops right after JR finished nursing to spread the time between the medicine possibly entering my system and him consuming milk (I am cautious). It has been a couple weeks now and even though I am off the drops I am still not allowed to wear contacts. The doctor wants it to fully heal which it has not yet done. I just want to tell all those pregnant mommas that your eye DOES change shape during pregnancy and it is normal. So if your contacts become uncomfortable during pregnancy, just wear your glasses, it is much easier than all this.